Ah, love is in the air. This is the time when singles dream of finding the “One”. Ladies dream of finding that six-foot, six pack, six figure man (matter of fact he can be five foot and have a two pack if he has six figures). That man that will rub her feet and shoulders every day, clean the house, wash dishes, wash clothes, cook supper and never argue (fight). The “complete package” - you know - “The One”. Men on the other hand are dreaming of the “One” as well. That perfect wife who cooks three meals a day, always cleans the house, has his remote control by his favorite chair when he walks in the door. She makes love to him twice a day, three times on Sunday and never argues (fights). You know, “The One”. The problem is most are still dreaming! We all have expectations in our relationships/marriages and when those expectations are not met we feel let down, disappointed and hurt. One of our expectations is we are trying to put the person or spouse as our “One”. That person will be my everything and in doing so you end up disappointed because no “Person” or spouse can ever be your “One”, only God can. God is your “One” and your spouse is your “Two”. So, to be truly fulfilled in every way we must seek God first then a spouse. When we mix up God’s order we can never have God’s best in our relationships. The other expectation is we will never fight. Truth is all couples fight, however healthy couples fight fair, unhealthy couples fight dirty.
With that in mind let me give you “Three Rules to Fighting Fair”.
- Handle your anger righteously.
Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV says “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold.”
One of the most life-changing principles for your marriage is don't let the sun go down when you're angry. Don't go to bed mad. When you do you give the devil a foothold into your marriage. Here’s what happens; you get into bed mad and assume the fighting positions, it’s called back to back. She faces one wall and he faces the other. There’s the “silent fighter” and there’s the “huffer” (aka: long sigh). Most of the time the women are the silent ones. She lays there and won't move, she doesn't breathe; she doesn't want to give the man the satisfaction of knowing that she's even still alive! Most men are the huffers. They wait five minutes and then it's like, "Huhhh!" and then flop over in the bed pull the covers and then get up and go to the bathroom, slam the toilet lid back down and come back and get in bed and wait and then huff. Whatever you do make sure you don’t touch any body parts. You never let your foot accidently drift over into enemy territory, where you could accidentally brush, and if they brush your toe you're like, "You're not getting any toe, don't you think you're getting toe! You want some toe; you can play with your own toe as far as I care! Don’t ever do that! Why? Because in your anger do not sin….
See you Sunday at 10:30 am for the other two “Fighting Rules” ….
Pastor Allen Peacock